Happy Hump O' Day! May the Guinness flow freely from the bottle you pour it from and make intimate contact with your luscious lips with the flavor and desire that enables you to kiss someone even if they aren't Irish. Did you forget to wear green? I didn't, but it wouldn't have been a big deal if I worked at a place with a bunch of hot chicks. Unfortunately, I work with 2 people who I don't find attractive at all. Mark did his own St. Patrick's tribute by faking an Irish accent for most of the morning. I was pretty entertained by it but Anna grew more annoyed as the show went on.

Actor Corey Haim will be laid to rest in Toronto this week, and a lot of people are wondering why he's being buried in Canada. Mark Kaye is one of those people. Haim spent most of his life in Los Angeles making a career for himself, so why wouldn't he be buried there? Mark was born in Canada and raised in North Carolina but he says he isn't sure where he'd like his final resting place to be. Maybe he should get his wife and kids to walk around with a pouch of his ashes around their necks. Anna was born in Virginia where she spent NO time at but she says it's where her family members are buried. Mikey P. wants to have his ashes turned into a painting.

On a lighter note, St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow. What are your plans? Mark and Anna plan on doing absolutely nothing. If you don't have plans, go check out what we have going on at the Landing. Mikey P. plans on making Guinness Cupcakes. What a fruit.

While we were disucssing partying for St. Patrick's day, Mary from Mandarin called us this morning with an interesting proposition. She wanted us to call her son, Casey, and check up on him. He's partying his butt off for Spring Break. What Casey doesn't know is that his mom is listening to the conversation. Wait until you hear what Casey told us. Who knew you could make a bong out of a turtle shell?

After we busted Casey, Mark went off about people who take lunch breaks and do anything BUT eat.I'd say hitting up the gym would be the most popular lunch-break activity besides eating. Booty calls are always nice too. I hooked up with someone during one of my lunch breaks way back when. Don't worry. We were dating. It was like 8 years ago LOL.What kind of weird stuff have you done? One person told us she shoplifted from the high-end stores at the mall she worked at.

From there we delved into a discussion about "Iron" Mike Tyson. Apparently, he's getting his own reality show an the Animal Planet (WTF?) for a hobby you probably never thought he'd be into - racing pigeons. I can relate. I used to race pigeons with my dad. We won a ton of races. There's even a pigeon racing club in Jacksonville. I'll have to find some pictures and upload them here. Mark & Anna learn something new about me everyday. We learned a lot from you too. One lady told us her baptist preacher of a father was also the leader of a Satanic Cult. Gotta love Palatka.

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. Wear green or get pinched. Or don't wear green on purpose if you work with a bunch of hot chicks.

-Mike-

American Idol is down to the TOP-12 and Mark and Anna had plenty to say. Well enough to fill an unintterupted break of Edward R. Murrow Award-winning morning show content. But seriously, I haven't watched as much this season. I just watched the audition episodes like everyone else. I'll give it another go around now that they're down to top-12. My pick to win is Crystal Bowersox. She has an awesome voice based on the sound clips I listen to every morning but what do I know?

One thing I do know well is how to exceptionally perform a collection of quality jokes. That's a snuggie by the way. I bought one for Mark a year ago and it's still in the box. I'm taking it in a week if he doesn't.

Speaking of people I work with, Anna was telling us about what happened to her at the town center last night, when an "older" dude followed her to her SUV and opened her door for her. Anna didn't think it was a big deal. She says the man had been acting chivalrous. Mark and I think Anna should watch her you know what.

Truly Mark Kaye is amazing....or not. Listen to what he had to say on This week's "Starbucks Psychic." They were actually pretty funny this week.

Spring Break is coming up (mmmmm boobies) and it right around the corner comes some of my FAVORITE people. They're called "Alternative Springbreakers" and you know who they are. They're the ones who make you feel guilty that you're partying on spring break, while they are off building houses in South America. More power to them, but why do SOME of these people have to put themselves on a pedestal because they're doing charity work? Good for you, but do yourself a favor and keep it to yourself. Same for those who practice Lent every year, which, by the way, I am one of them.

Before we packed it in for the weekend, Mark told us about how he ripped off "Imma Be" by the Black Eyed Peas, and turned it into a song about the alphabet for his kids. This lead to Ja-Rule parodies about his Dog "Stevie." What dude refers to their dog by "Stevie"? Apparently, Mark. Steve is ok....but Stevie? lol

I'm moving in with my mom's friend and enjoying a cold one tonight. I'm on facebook so hit me up there if you need to get in touch. ya feels me?

p.s. Since it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, on it I'm instituting "Funny Picture Friday." Ladies, if you play your cards right this weekend, you might get this dude's number when you're out at the Ale House or the Brix.

Later on,

Mike

Have you ever been arrested for shaving your vajajay while you were driving? Well, it happened to this woman. Key West police arrested Meghan Barnes after they say she caused a crash while shaving her bikini line. According to the police report, her husband had been holding the steering wheel while she was shaving.

WTF? lol

I don't know why more of you didn't have an opinion on this. I've seen people do some pretty ridiculous things while they're driving to work in the mornings. I've never seen someone shaving their poonani. Maybe if this lady had went to Ideal Image, she would've been able to concentrate on the road.

Speaking of shaving, Mo'nique told Barbara Walters she doesn't shave her legs and her husband LOVES it but we'll get to that in a second. Let's talk about the Oscars. Actually, let's not talk about it. Check out the recap here.

I'm glad UP won a couple of awards. What a great movie. The Oscars were OK. I didn't watch the whole thing. I spent several hours setting up my girlfriend's surround sound system, only to find out I needed an HDMI cable. You'd think 800 dollars for a sound system would score you that wire but apparently not.

ANYWAY, as Mr. Joe-Blow average American, I didn't think the Oscars were that entertaining with the jokes. People who enjoy Jay Leno's Tonight Show material, probably enjoyed the Oscars but what do I know?

Neil Patrick Harris' Opening Dance was pretty damn funny though.

Before the Oscars, Mo'nique turned a lot of heads when she told Barbara Walters about her open marriage with her husband Sydney Hicks. Check out the Hollywood Hotsheet blog for that story.

Judging by a lot of you who called in, she's not the only one. As for not shaving her legs and her husband liking it, I call BS on that. See you tomorrow.

-Mike-

I can tell how American Idol is losing the sparkle it once had. When I started working for the show 3 years ago, we would talk Idol for hours. Now we spend a few minutes on it and move on. It seems like none of you want to talk about it anymore. The show just isn't as entertaining as it once was. I wish they had kept Paula. Oh well. It's starting to look like Simon is about to make the right choice in leaving the show and bringing his "The X Factor" show to the United States.Last night, 4 more American Idol hopefuls were sent home packing. Mark and Anna discuss.

After that downer of a discussion, we kicked the show up a notch with a collection of jokes I thought were funny. I scoure the newswires for timely zingers I think are hilarious and I tell them on the air. Maybe I'll start podcasting the ones I don't mention on the air because those are the ones I really like. Mark & I have different senses of humor and, unfortunately, my favorites never make the cut and I'm subjected to 6 or 7 jokes Mark picks out of about 20 total. I'm way funnier than Mark anyway. HA!

I end this entry with a hilarious video I found on youtube. It's of a petspa and apparently they're becoming wildly popular here in the states. Why does Japan get all the cool stuff before us? It's basically a pet washing machine. Let me know what you think.

See you Monday. Hit me up on facebook if you need to.

-Mike-

If you're in a relationship with someone BUT not married, and you're unfaithful, is it cheating? That's the question we tried to answer this moring after Mark & Anna caught another cheating boyfriend red handed.

This week's victim: Claire from the Southside. She's been dating Peter for the past couple of years. Claire says she's gotten suspicious lately because Peter has been telling her he needs a couple of nights a week to himself, and on those nights Claire tells us he's virtually unreachable.

That's when Mark gave Peter a call this morning and a woman answered the phone!

According to Peter, he WASN'T cheating because they AREN'T married. There were plenty of people on both sides.

Now I get all the stuff about if you aren't married, then legally it's not cheating but from a moral point-of-view, it's definitely cheating. If you've been with someone for a couple of years, you've obviously both agreed to be exclusive with each other ESPECIALLY if you plan on living with that person.

People who are trying to find loopholes are obviously insecure about something in my opinion but what do I know?

That pretty much took over the whole show this morning. We were going to recap American Idol but that never happened. I'll recap if for you right now, Half were ok. Half sucked. There you go. Tune in tonight and find out which of the half who sucked go home.

Tomorrow we're giving away more tickets to WWE Raw, Train concert tickets, and we'll tell some jokes along the way. Hopefully you'll laugh. I am required to laugh at Mark's Starbucks Psychic jokes but you aren't. Thank god for that. Later on.

-Mike-

In case you guys didn't know, we do start our show at 5:30, and not at 6:00. It's a question I've been asked a lot lately, so if you're up that early check us out and listen to the TANQOD. It stands for THE ALL NEW QUESTION OF THE DAY. If you can answer the question, you'll win some movie tickets, concert passes (as Anna calls them), or whatever else we can dig up.

Did you hear about that baby who a woman abducted a baby on the Westside last night? Apparently she posed as a Division of Children & Families employee, and the baby's parents, who according to Jacksonville Sheriff, John Rutherford, speak very little english, gave the baby to this woman. Officials issued an Amber Alert hours later, and thankfully, police found the baby boy, reuninting him with his parents.

We thought we'd be talking about this all morning but police apprehended the suspect at about 7 this morning.

With that sigh of relief, Mark & Anna recapped last night's episode of American Idol. I was watching LOST. (side note: Sayid still remains a bad ass. Best episode since "The Constant" where Desmond traveled through time).

American Idol just doesn't do it for me anymore, and why do the contestants pick the same songs to sing every year? Don't they have an unlimited catalog of music to chose from? Personally, I liked th guy who sang the John Mayer song but I'm partial.

At any rate, the men had to go on a night early after one of the female contestants had to be rushed to a hospital by what's been reported as a diabetic reaction. Mark & Anna go over who sucked, who didn't, and who's moving forward to next week.

So here's a random question: Have you ever broken up with someone who had a food allergy? If this morning was any indication, several of you have. Mark says he'd never date someone who doesn't eat seafood since he loves it so much. Anna gets her boyfriend to pick the meat off her bone because she refuses to eat it unless there isn't one. She's so high maintenance.

I'm heading home now. My sister is here. See you tomorrow.

-Mike-

I watched "The Bachelor" for the first time last night, and I've learned all I've needed to know about the show. Just from the discussion Jake had with Tenley about her missing something physical (aka she sucks in bed), I knew he wasn't going to pick her. Who would have thought right? Dude picks the chick who was better in bed. What a shocker. Maybe I don't get it because I'm a dude, but I can understand why women flock to the show. If I were Jake though, and I was basing my pick on sexual performance, I would have picked neither of the final 2 and went with that skank Roz. That's my take. Listen to what Mark & Anna had to say about the season finale.

When the finale ended, Tom Burgeron and Melissa Rycroft announced the contestants for this season of "Dancing with the Stars." A star-studded list that includes Kate Gosselin, Pamela Anderson, and Chad Ocho Cinco. Listen to what Mark & Anna had to say about the BRAND NEW cast.

Later on the show, we delved into the dangers of the Buckman Bridge and other bridges across town. With the bad rain this morning, and with last weekend's bad crash on the Orange Park bridge fresh on everyone's mind, many of you had a lot to say about bridges like the Trout River, Hart, Buckman, Matthews, and Dames Point. I'm not bridge expert but I get a little nervous everytime I crash the Buckman because I feel like if I were to get side-swiped, my car would plow right through the 3-feet guard rails. I don't see that happening when I'm crossing a bridge like the Main St. or Dames Pointe but what do I know?

As we wrapped up that conversation, Mark's friend "Jim Starke" walked into the studio and he had a weird story to tell us when we were playing a couple of songs. He told us about his makeout session with a girl he met at the Brix on Saturday night. Here's the kicker: he has an abcess in his mouth. A canker sore that Jim told us he didn't feel the need to mention to the chick about. It's hard for me to say how I feel about this. I think it's dependant on the situation. If you're sucking face and in the moment, and it's just a canker sore you got from biting the inside of your cheek, what's the big deal? I've Googled, and it's not contagious. If I had herpes (which I don't!), that's a different story. Several of you said Jim should have told the girl. Other's said she was probably a skank and telling her wasn't necessary. Again, I don't know how I feel about that.

Speaking of feelings, I feel like crap right now. Anna broke a trash can over my back and I'm going to lay down on the couch and take a nap before I hit up some P90X ("I hate it, but I love it!"). Tomorrow we're talking about a bunch of neat stuff so make sure you tune in tomorrow morning.

We have tickets to WWE Raw before they go on sale so keep your ears open for that PLUS tickets to next week's TRAIN show. See you tomorrow.

-Mike-